What if I can’t Relate to Paul?
I had studied Paul’s example in the book of Acts and the Epistles many times before. I was usually excited to learn about Paul’s journeys, examine Scripture for any nuggets of wisdom for making disciples, and delve into his example of developing leaders. But this time was different. My sleep-deprived mom brain couldn’t connect what I was seeing in Paul’s life to any actual application for myself. I couldn’t see myself or my current season of life relating to the lifestyle or actions of the Apostles. I couldn’t relate to Paul.
Instead of daily reasoning with the lost about the Kingdom of God (Acts 19:8), I'm at home trying to convince a stubborn toddler that it's not safe to eat Play-Doh or touch the stove.
Instead of being fervent in thanksgiving and prayer (Eph 1:15-17), I sometimes get to the end of the day and realize that, in the chaos of caring for needy kids, I never even thought about anything outside of making it to bedtime.
Instead of traveling across regions and facing persecution for the sake of proclaiming the Gospel (Acts 13-18), I’m traversing my house for an hour trying to find the baby monitor that my kids thought would be funny to hide in the back of the closet.
So, if I’m finding it hard to relate to the life and example of Paul and the Apostles, what does that even mean? Is the Great Commission not applicable to me? How can I reconcile the important and clearly God-given role of motherhood with the call that I had at 20 years old to make disciples?
Over the past 11 years of being called to ministry, becoming a wife, moving overseas, and becoming a mom – I have seen countless faithful, God-honoring women serving the Lord. In times of identity crisis or desperation, I have asked these godly women for guidance and wisdom on all things related to making disciples. Here is my attempt to synthesize what I have learned over the years:
As women it is important that we: 1) Look to Scripture for examples of women, 2) Seek the Holy Spirit’s guidance on what He is calling each of us to do, and 3) Commit to being faithful no matter what He asks of each of us.
Look to Scripture
Once we look deeper into the narrative of Scripture, the reality is that there are many examples of women in the New Testament doing Kingdom work. A more extensive study of women in the New Testament can be found here.
As I have studied these passages with women across Asia, I have found it helpful to categorize these examples into three types of ministry. Ministry can be in the Home, in the Church, and in the Harvest.
In the Home: Women can teach their children to be faithful disciples and leaders (Lois and Eunice in 2 Tim 1:5). Women can open their home for a church to gather (Nympha in Col 4:15; Priscilla in Romans 16:3-5). Women can serve by praying for Kingdom work (Mary in Acts 12:12). Women can invite their families to hear the Good News and believe in Jesus (Lydia in Acts 16:11-15, 16:40).
In the Church: Women can teach younger ladies from their church to be faithful disciples (Titus 2:3-5). Women can give financially to the church and Kingdom work (Phoebe in Romans 16:1-2). Women can participate in the church and have spiritual gifts (Philip’s daughters in Acts 21:8-9). Women can care for church members and apostolic workers (Rufus’s mom in Romans 16:13).
In the Harvest Field: Both single (Euodia and Syntyche in Philippians 4:2-3) and married (Priscilla in Acts 18:24-26) women can be apostolic co-workers in the core missionary task of sharing the Gospel, making disciples, and developing leaders. Women can also care for others through acts of charity and testimonies, leading others to believe (Tabitha in Acts 9:36-42).
From these biblical examples, there is precedent for women to be intentional to make disciples and develop leaders in the home, in the church, and in the harvest field. By starting from the Word, women can be affirmed that they can, in fact, participate in Great Commission activities. Women are not exempt from or forgotten in the command to make disciples of all nations. Different seasons and giftings may prompt different ways to follow this command. However, seeing the many passages about women participating in Kingdom work opens the door for us to seek the Spirit’s guidance on how that may practically play out in our lives.
Seek the Spirit’s Guidance
I know that I am not the only woman trying to figure out how to make disciples, be a faithful woman/wife/mom, and maybe even get a decent amount of sleep. Every woman is uniquely created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27) and empowered by the Holy Spirit with gifts for the common good (1 Corinthians 12:4-11). There is no road map, instruction manual, or one-size-fits-all method for how to be a woman and be involved in ministry. That would take away from the sanctification and deepened relationship gained from seeking the Holy Spirit’s guidance. A greater level of confidence comes when the Father reveals a unique calling in your life.
By looking at the examples in Scripture, we can see that there is a wide variety of gifts and ways to serve Him and make disciples. Ultimately, we must ask: How is God calling me to obey Him in this season? There should never be comparison, guilt, shame, or judgment on how a sister in Christ genuinely feels led to follow the Spirit’s leading. There is freedom from a false idea that there is only one cookie-cutter ideal for being a Proverbs 31 woman. Let us remember that we will one day give an account to God (Romans 14:10-12), so our aim should be to please Him above any societal or self-created pressures.
Commit to Being Faithful
We are called to be faithful stewards and servants and live the life to which we were called (1 Peter 4:10, 2 Corinthians 6:3-8, Matthew 25:20-21, 1 Corinthians 7:17). Once there is clarity on the examples and commands from the Word – and then the specific ways that the Spirit is leading you to obey – your response should be a posture of faithful submission to Him. No matter what He asks of me, I want to say, “Yes, Lord.” If He asks me to move to yet another country, I want to say yes. If He asks me to stay at home and faithfully homeschool my kids while my husband travels, I want to steward that responsibility well. If He prompts me to share the Good News with my neighbor, I want to boldly follow His lead. Comparison truly is a thief of joy. Instead of comparing my current role and capacity to another sister or even to my own self in a previous season, I can choose to be faithful today and fully surrender to His word, will, and ways.
Seeking to Honor God in the Tension
Today, I changed four dirty diapers, was hit in the face by a flying book, and googled “what to do for a 3-year-old still sucking thumb.” Needless to say, I am still struggling to relate to the example of Paul’s ministry. However, I can be confident that there are biblically grounded and God-honoring opportunities to make disciples in this season. Lies like “I am not doing enough,” “There are no opportunities for women to have an impact,” or “Other women are able to do it all” often assault me. Amid the lies, I am working to find contentment knowing that I am being a faithful servant to what He has asked me to do. I am praying for Him to open my eyes to opportunities and give me the strength to say yes to whatever doors He opens.
I still wrestle with some of the questions about women in ministry, especially living in conservative countries in Asia. There is still tension between motherhood and a desire to be involved in apostolic work. I still have unanswered questions about the practicality of being a family on mission together. But, I can choose to surrender my days and weeks to Him, trusting that, as I obey His promptings, I am honoring and glorifying Him whether or not it is glamorous or fruitful by the world’s standards. I can joyfully look forward to the day that He will say, “Well done good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23) for the ways that I have served within my home, among fellow believers, or in His plentiful harvest field.